i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
