he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
