yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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