Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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