Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
