Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
