I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
