Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
