theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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