Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
