she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
