none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
