two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
