Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
