guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
