Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
