I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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