No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
