I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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