i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
