I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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