He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
please come you make the beer taste better
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
