we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
