the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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