I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My balls are so social today.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
