She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
