Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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