i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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