just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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