Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
