He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
