Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
