i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
