she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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