420 ftw
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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