Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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