I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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