Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
