Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
