Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
