Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
