I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
