just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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