So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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