Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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