OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
