This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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