I must be too annoying 4 u.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
And the cops told us we were all naked.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
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