Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
