I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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