Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
