I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
