Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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